Marriage is a blending of two souls, but what if both souls belong to you? Someone rightly said that there is nothing more soul-soothing than being your own finest companion. An evolving society brings with it some mind-boggling yet refreshing change of ideas.
We bring to you Khushi Shah who believes and follows the ideology of being your forever companion AKA being #marriedtoself.
What is your idea of being happy in your company?
The idea of living my life till now and beyond has always been of self-content. I like to do things that give me happiness, be it spending a quiet night home with my books or going out to a club to chill. Just being present in the current moment is what keeps me happy in my own company.
I don’t have unrealistic demands from life and instead of what people like to call FOMO [Fear Of Missing Out], I have JOMO [Joy of Missing Out].
#marriedtoself is a new trend. When and where did you feel you could relate with it?
I have always believed till you don’t understand and love yourself, you can never understand and love others. It all has to start from within. I realized this on one of my solo trips, where being happy in my company brought me so much peace and calm.
The whole idea of traveling alone came in when I refused to wait for others to be a part of my trips, and learned to accommodate myself and my needs first.
How has this concept helped you in your life? What are the changes you feel around and within you?
This has been a life
There is nothing that you cannot unlearn. Over the years, I have grown as an individual and learned to make my own opinions and choices about things beyond the shackles of society or peer pressure.
There are two ways to raise yourself, one being the values, lessons that your family gives you while growing up and the second where you identify the things that matter to you and take a stand for them.Khushi
How do you deal with the judgemental attitude of society towards your choice?
I lead the life of ducks when it comes to living in this society. Whatever the world says about me is like water off my back, it just doesn’t stick with me.
I will not allow anyone to dictate my
How according to you can one be happy in being married to self?
A person has to enjoy his own company. There is a huge difference in being lonely and in being alone. I’m an ambivert personality. I thrive with both extroverts and introverts. People need to stop waiting around for others to lead a life that they wish to live. Take charge of your life, do things that make you happy, keep checking in with your self to ask how your day was, are you happy, is there something that’s bothering you and so much more. Learn to become your own best friend before you lend your shoulders to others.
You are an avid traveller. Do you think being #marriedtoself plays a role in this? If yes, how?
I’m blessed with liberal parents. They have never stopped me from being out there and conquering my dreams and fighting my battles. This has been of immense help.
I have had friends whose parents would tell them, ‘go on this trip with your husband once you’re married’. How can you reduce your daughter’s individuality to matter only when she has a man in her life?
My family would always proudly say that they could leave me in the desert and I would find my way home. On my travels, I stay in hostels where you meet so many people from different countries. You are never really alone and hence it doesn’t matter to me whether I’m traveling solo or with friends.
What is your idea of marriage and what makes you believe in it?
Individuals should marry when they are mentally prepared and not when they are pressured into it or do it because it is the right age. I have seen marriages which exist because they are expected to stick it out and marriages where partners are individuals, with a sense of self first, and a couple later. I seek the latter. I don’t want to lose my individuality or my career over a relationship. A marriage must be between equals and only when that happens, there are chances of making it work.
How do you feel should one deal with all the negativity surrounding #marriedtoself concept?
People who believe in this concept are rarely bothered or concerned with such negativity. And I personally feel, if you have made that choice then that decision should make sense to you first before anyone else. Only when you self-doubt does the negativity affect you.
What challenges do you face as an individual who believes in unique ideologies?
I have been mocked over my ideologies since so long that it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’m not here to convince anyone of how I should be living my life. I’m just going to go ahead and live it. People think it’s “just a phase” and will get over. And I’m happy letting them stick to their faiths and ideologies. I can co-exist with such humans.
Do you think these initiatives will bring about a change in the way people look at the concept of marriage? If yes, how?
I don’t know how much change it can bring about in others but as I said earlier, a person making this choice needs to believe in the decision. Marriage as an institution should be re-assessed. People need to do this for the right reasons.
I see no point in compromising and adjusting to the extent that you both are miserable and hate each other’s guts.
Do you feel we shall witness healthier relationships with these changes? Does this also give a sense of freedom from societal drama?
I don’t know how we define healthy relationships these days. Everyone has their own sense and perspective on this. The coming generation anyway doesn’t give too much importance to societal drama, they are too busy surviving the fads and trying to figure what they want from life. If two people are happy with each other, then that according to me is a healthy relationship.
VERSION TWO OF THE INTERVIEW COMING SOON. STAY TUNED!
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Aweekinlife.com. Any omissions or errors are the author’s and A Week In Life does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.