As love matures and turns into something beautiful, there is a need to make it formal in the society we live in. That’s what most of us believe and follow.
When we say society, especially the one we inhabit, marriage is what makes a relationship formal and is defined as “the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.”
But, for our desi girl, even before she flips her convocation hat in the air, she becomes a hunting material in the eyes of sneaky neighborhood aunties and matrimonial sites. She has no time to even think/analyze the concept.
The pressure is real
From the chawk-wale uncle to the melodramatic always-on-the-edge granny, she is the finest target they can find. And to add to this commotion, one has to dance rhythmically to the tunes of “beta shaadi kab karoge?” and “jaldi nahi karogi toh bachche kaise honge?” regularly.
(picture courtesy channa_says)
Sadly, this is the truth for so many of us.
From worried parents to relatives and friends, life seems to revolve around the idea of how getting married is the ultimate “decision” one can take, in order to announce that he/she has matured. Now this maturity can come anytime. It could be at the age of 16, 19, 35 or 50? But marriage? The sooner the better. That’s what most of us grew up to believe.
Evolution of the institution
But as we entered the 21st century, the idea of marriage started to evolve and expand at a rate faster than one could imagine. It is not that we didn’t have different forms of “marriage” earlier, but in the last two decades, more people have come out and owned their relationships.
This, in turn, has started a conversation around the traditional definition of marriage. More youngsters are now experimenting and exploring different possibilities to find love.
To cut to the chase, the topic of marriage is almost as complicated as achieving Nirvana girls!
Art imitates life
While working on the theme, being the filmy team that we are, we came across Bollywood gems that have depicted marriage in a different light over the years.
From Guide and Sangam (1964-65), to Arth (1982) and Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna (2006), films have shown us the complexities of a sensitive topic like infidelity, while Salaam Namaste (2005) and the recent Luka Chhupi made the discussion around live-in relationships easier. Be it the bold depiction of love between two women in Fire (1996) or the subtle hint of Kareena spending a night with Shahana Goswami in Heroine (2012), film makers have been trying their best to uncomplicate human relationships onscreen.
Kya Kehna (2000) and Julie (1975) were path-breaking in their own rights and films such as Barfi (2012) depicted how a relationship can be nameless and yet, be so beautiful and deep.
On the other hand, the ’90s kid in us cannot NOT talk about how Bollywood has made us believe in the idea of “one true love”, which, when we now look back, seems almost childish. One can find love once, twice, and then again. For some of us, it might be the first time around, while for others, it could take multiple tries.
Start the conversation
Our own team at aweekinlife is full of variety when it comes to marriage – arranged, love-cum-arranged, inter-faith, eloped, married early and late marriage – we have covered it all! And not to forget, our founder, who’s an inspiring unmarried mother.
To be real, there is no one-size-fits-all definition for marriage and so, this month, we will try our best to bring to you, the ever-evolving and ever-expanding idea of this union, along with pre- and post-marriage challenges! These also include how to prepare for your D-day! We will be giving out some free marriage gyan too ladies!
So, make way for a sassy September of umpteen anecdotes with a dash of spice. Let’s focus more on forming meaningful relationships, and not judge people based on how they find (or lose) love.
And most importantly, let’s not forget that it is LOVE and RESPECT that go a long way in all relationships.
On that note, let’s get this party started.
Linu Mathew – Editor (Living)
Anushka Bhartiya – Editor-in-chief
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of aweekinlife.com. Any omissions or errors are the author’s and A Week In Life does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.