I have always seen some people argue that marriage is the end of life for almost everyone. They give lame reasons on how fun stops the moment you enter matrimony. And how it’s all about compromise and adjustment for the rest of your life while you stay unhappy.
To people who are not married yet, they say “Never make the mistake I made.” To people who are newly married, they say, “Wait for some more time and you will definitely feel the way I feel now.” To people who have been happily married for years, they say, “It’s just a pretense. There is nothing like a forever-happy marriage.”
I feel bad when I hear this, especially the enthusiasm with which they try to state that marriage is the last thing any sane person should commit to.
Firstly, I feel it is double standards to be married and discuss its ill effects all the time. If they never liked the concept, they could have chosen to never marry. If they did get married and then realized it was the gravest of mistakes they could ever commit, they should have gotten out of it. Continuing with it for social acceptance, or whatever reason they have, is pure hypocrisy.
It is a simple fact that every marriage depends on the people involved. The experience and adventures can never be the same for two couples.
Just because they have been married for 10 years and were never happy with their life, doesn’t mean everyone else is going to be unhappy with their marriage as well. Just because they were not happy with their priorities changing, doesn’t mean that everyone hates change. Just because their spouses did not give them the space they needed, doesn’t mean it applies to everyone else too.
If you think from the spouse’s point of view, if they hear their spouses lash out against marriage, about how it’s a punishment, I am pretty sure they will be heartbroken.
Cracking harmless jokes or one-liners once in a while might be looked at as fun. But when it is a heated argument about why no one should get married, coming from a married person, I’m sure any spouse would be pretty upset.
The worst part is that they choose to close their eyes to couples who are genuinely happy in their marriages. They don’t understand the reasons behind their success. Maybe they put in efforts to keep the relationship alive in their own simple ways, or maybe they tried to be each other’s best friend.
Simple adjustments and compromises are an integral part of any relationship. We don’t look at them as sacrifices when we have our priorities right, or at ourselves as martyrs when it was our decision.
A lifetime of happiness with one person is the result of a lot of ups and downs that a couple has to handle well, together. It is also the result of conscious, yet simple actions that we take for each other to feel special.
But no! These crusaders against marriage will not see the fact that people are happy only when they want to be happy. If you try to talk rationally with them, it will be a futile activity resulting in a waste of time and energy.
Hence, this blog. 🙂
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